When I’m not sharing my musings or writing fiction, my usual bag for this website is to promote things that are unfairly maligned or criminally underrated. That means that the only time I really pack in the hits is the Olympics, when something I want to write about is of interest to more than a few hundred people.
Here’s the word combinations that I get the most action from, according to my handy WordPress statistics page:
1. Lolo Jones sex
2. Shawn Johnson ass
3. nude olympics
4. Missy Franklin hot
5. Bob Costas fucked up eyeball
I’m going to refrain from editorializing here and just give the viewing public what they seem to want. Roll with it, culture mavens! I’m selling out, baby! Gimme those easy hits! I wanna sell some ads on this thing. You’ve got to see this video of Sam Jackson verbally wailing on a reporter who mistook him for Laurence Fishburn! You kids like that Flappy Bird Game? You can’t play it anymore! Read my half ass website instead!
Let’s catch up with Lolo. You might remember this entry from Beijing, 2008:
You are Lolo Jones, and your life is devoid of meaning.
You’re 26. You’ve made it through adversity in life by focusing on something. Something you’re good at. Something remarkable. Something you can do that few can, and something that can make you a little bit famous. Rich, by most estimations.
You were right on the way to a Gold Medal, but your knee clipped that last hurdle. You were lucky to finish at all. Hero to zero in a fraction of a second. You’re going home with nothing to show for it. You’ve got bills to pay. In 4 years you’ll be too old and beat up to try this again.
And so you weep.
In London 2012, she was one of 3 American women who competed in a dash. The other 2 women seemed to regard her with some degree of malice for garnering more attention than them. Here’s how it ended up:
Lolo Jones placed 4th in her race. Two other Americans who received not a tenth of the attention she received won Medals. Lolo seems to have found herself the victim of cultural backlash. Her story arc didn’t turn out like the movie, as expected. The turnabout has hurt her feelings and bent her head, but she’s no stranger to adversity. She’s been through worse.
Here’s to hoping for a modeling career.
In an interesting twist to her continuing saga, Lolo is on the bobsled team this year. She’s been battling a cold and been quarantined from her fellow competitors in Sochi. Maybe this will finally be her ticket to a medal.
Here’s Tiger Woods’ girlfriend Lindsey Vonn, looking how she naturally does after being knocked out of the Olympics because of an injury.
Here’s figure skater Gracie Gold, the number one most sought after subject for a selfie for all the boys in Sochi. She was 2 years old when I graduated high school, so I’ll leave it at that.
And finally, check out Russian curling babe Anna Sidorova!