Winter Games 2014: If You Want To Be An Olympian, You Eat Mickey D’s


drunk ronald

OK, let’s get this straight right from jump street: I’m a big fat person. Not like “morbidly obese in a motorized cart at Wal-Mart” fat, but definitely “don’t bother to tuck that shirt in” fat.  For the last two times out, the Winter Games happened to be the harbinger of a downward mood swing that would cause me to virtually quit eating altogether, so much so that I only wrote about the first time. This turned out handy because once I finally got around to wanting to be alive again, about 50 pounds had melted off.

This year, I feel OK. So far. Good for my mental health, not good for my physical health. I am in better shape now than I was a few months ago, thanks to semi regular visits to the gym and a diet primarily made up of nuts, bananas,  yogurt, those Cliff bar things, and juice. Still pretty fat, though.

Which tells me something I think we already know, and that’s that Olympic level athletes probably don’t eat at McDonald’s, even though they are an official sponsor of the games.

Already on thin ice promoting athletics, McDonald’s is absolutely synonymous with unhealthy food prepared in a disgusting manner that’s not really very good if you weren’t raised on it, bad pay for its employees, and inexplicably high popularity despite mediocrity. So of course, some poor soul in their advertising department has the job of engaging with the public on twitter as if the general populace is made up of the kinds of people that only exist in their commercials.




The results are not positive.



That’s the official McDonald’s page on the right, and on the left is the parody page that has thoroughly co-opted the message. Maybe it’s time McDonald’s left social media alone.